Then I woke up... [entries|friends|calendar] Manda [ website | My Pictures ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

I want this to end. [02 Mar 2004|11:36pm] [ mood | irritated ] [ music | fugazi ] FUCK YOU LIVEJOURNAL!!!!!! I just spent an hour typing all kinds of shit and YOU ERASED IT!! I HATE YOU LJ!! Im never typing in this thing again. It's all about Xanga man. damn. please end this.

What kind of stoner are you?? [15 Feb 2004|11:13pm] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | Deathcab for cutie- photobooth ] You're just a chill stoner. You may be kinda lazy, and you've probably got a great couch that you're pretty well acquainted with. Everybody likes you, stoners and non-stoners alike. And why? 'cause it's all good, man. What kind of stoner are you? brought to you by Quizilla IM bored. I HATE ESCONDIDO. Someone please come rescue me. please end this.

Blah Blah Blah [14 Feb 2004|06:34pm] My mom is moving out of here on the 1st of next month. I have to find somewhere to stay before that day gets here. Damn, Im one sorry-ass chick. Oh well. I have to go wash my two pairs of clothing... since all my shit is scattered all around the freakin world. Someone please come and save me. please end this.

The Shit Hits The Fan. [12 Feb 2004|11:08pm] [ mood | crazy ] [ music | Incubus- a certain shade of green ] The last time I wrote in this I was living in P.B. The people I was living with turned out to be very selfish, hypocritical procrastinators. I no longer live with them because they carelessly left me at my mothers house, expecting me to figure out why they never called me or came to pick me up. After much thought and time,(and pride swallowing)  I decided to call my guardians for any sort of help. They thought about it and eventually agreed for me to return to their house. Things were a little odd at first but I had no other choice so I couldnt be picky at all. I did everything in my power to get myself back into school and after 3 1/2 weeks I did just that. Only two days before the day I would start school, something so fucked up happened. Something I can not even say. It will effect me for the rest of my life and I wish so badly that I could forget about it. Now everything is FUCKED!! I have no chance of getting into school anytime soon. I once again have NO WHERE to fucken live in a couple weeks. It just always turns too shit in the end. ALWAYS fucks me over. I don't know where to go from here. Where is there to go from here?? If I knew, I would just go there.         Shit. The world is evil. So are most of the people in it. Fuck, sometimes I don't even know who is what or what is who. I lose myself in all of the chaotic messes scattered all around me.  1 before it ends us.| please end this.

**The LoOneY BiN** [18 Dec 2003|01:26am] [ mood | thankful ] [ music | Dexys Midnite runners- come on Eileen ] //Today was just another day// Kim: OH, here Amanda I got you this friendship ring! Me: Thank you Kim, Where's yours tho?? Kim: Oh, I only had one quarter. LOL!! I love you Kim!! :) For those of you who don't know who Kim is... Well, you see, Kim is my one and only physical friend. (all of my other friends I only converse with via aim) We met about 5 1/2 months ago but I dont remember that day. (I was comming down pretty hard.) Eventually, I became completely sober and there she was...asking me if I was ok. My first thought was, "who the hell is this blonde chick asking me if Im ok??" So finally I asked her "who are you??" and she simply replied "I am Kim" and I said "ok, well I am Amanda" and in a creepy sort of way she said "I already know who you are" And from that day on, we have been inseperable...(not by choice, she lives with me and neither of us have a job or go to school haha) So Kim and I are like bonnie and clyde, micky and mallory knox, doc holiday and wilde herp, curious george and the man in the yellow hat, ren and stimpy, bevis and butthead, cookies and cream, peanutbutter and jelley (kims the PB, Im allergic) Foresst and Buba, batman and robin, WE ARE AMIGOS, COMPADRES, BUDDIES, PALS, ACCOMPLICES, TWO PEAS IN A FUCKEN POD, MILLY AND VANILLY, LIKE WHITE ON RICE, SNOOP-DOG AND DRE, and even like DAMN LOUIS AND FRUITY ASS CLARK!!!! Ok, I think you get the point... but just in case you didnt... we are like ROSANNE AND DAN, BERT AND EARNIE, two guys on the balcony on the muppets, PROSTITUTES AND CORNERS, CIGARETTES AND ALCOHOL. With out Kim, everyday would be just another day...instead, it's just another day with my dear friend Kim...smoking ciggs, talking shit about everyone we hate or dislike so very passionatly...yep, that's her. This one's for you Kimbo. please end this.

=wretched= [16 Dec 2003|12:43am] [ mood | nostalgic ] [ music | marcy playground- ancient walls of flowers ] //This constant wave of worthlessness// //and anger shall never pass// //Even here in this supposed get away //this feeling which rests upon my body //and my soul is throbbing viciously// //lonely and unhonorable //the thought of my weak self discusts me// //I am raining in my clothes //pouring myself in// //the vinyl threads whip me into place// //empty drawers and blank certains are all that is left// //a hard matress puts me to rest// //much more than less// //clutching your brain with much distress// //I'm a fucken mess// //no longer dead inside// //the chaos is taking a rest// //hold my eyes shut while I breathe// //untie my limbs// //Im free// please end this.

The day of Their Return (NO!!) [14 Dec 2003|04:20am] [ mood | irritated ] [ music | Bjork- hyperballad ] So, today the people I stay with are comming back from their weekend in San Fransisco...Yikes. I liked it when they were gone. No yelling, no commands being thrown at me every 2.3 seconds, and most of all, NO crazy ass kids running around like mad, screaming their heads off. Im more of a baby person, no toddlers please. Anywho...Life as I know it continues to consist of nothing more than sleeping, cleaning, and never leaving the house. It may sound "glamorous" to some but I would much rather be working or going to school. Some place where social interaction is key. Boredum is acceptable to an extent. OK, enough of that. I bought Pirates of The Carribean yesterday. I love that movie. Johnny Depp is my idea of a perfect male. WOWZERS!! The chick in that movie is pretty hot as well. I'd take either one. I want hair extentions for X-MAS. MY X-MAS WISH LIST: * hair exstensions * years worth of banana baby food * 10 pez dispensers * Johnny Depp in a leather thong sitting on me when I wake up * a sloppy Joe * an apartment * 10 liters of Dr Pepper * A big fluffy black and red dress * edward scissorhands poster * a pet chinchilla in a pea coat * a hundred billion dollars MUAH HAHAHA * a dog other than the stupid one I have now. * Tofu * Santa in a neon pink, G-string bikini * My mom, both sisters and both brothers please end this.

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